E2A 083: Writing Your Truth: Tatjana Genys on Crafting an Authentic Memoir 

Episode Transcript

Please note: The transcript is produced by a third-party company from an audio recording and may include transcription errors.

Scott MacMillan:

You're listening to the Entrepreneur to Author podcast.

Announcer

Welcome to the Entrepreneur to Author podcast, the podcast that brings you practical strategies for building authority and growing your business. And now, here's your host, Scott MacMillan.

Scott

My guest today is Tatjana Genys. Tatjana is the founder of the art and science of choosing you and is leading the way in conscious parenting and conscious leadership. Tatiana invites us to look within, to choose ourselves unapologetically, and inspires us to step into a path of purpose and authenticity.

She's also the multi-title author of I See You, Find Your Centre, Journal of Empowerment, and her brand new book, From People Pleaser to Boundary Badass. Tatjana, thank you for joining us on the Entrepreneur to Author Podcast.

Tatjana Genys

Thank you for having me. It's such a joy.

Scott

Oh, listen, to start, I'd love if you could share a little bit more about yourself. I shared a little bit in the intro, but could you share a little bit about your experience and the work that you're doing?

Tatjana

Yeah, absolutely. And thank you so much for having me. Hey, it was quite the tagline you introduced me with.

Not sure if there's much more to add, but maybe in a nutshell. So my name is Tatiana Giniz. My past life, or my first part of my life's journey, has been in the corporate world before I decided to step into the world of a solo printer and to really focus on heart, making families whole, healing yourselves, fighting your inner demons, and give back in any way I possibly could.

So at that point, I was looking at different channels and channels that worked best for me in that case. I studied coaching, but there's only one of me and so many people I'm hoping to reach. And writing just felt the ultimate outlet apart from it being a really big hobby of mine.

Let me start there.

Scott

Yes. And so you've recently published your newest book from People Pleaser to Boundary Badass. Could you share a little bit about it?

Who have you written it for and what is your goal for people reading it?

Tatjana

Yeah. Love that. Love that question.

It's actually for anybody who's lost or currently doesn't know their way out. Anybody who's struggling with really complex family dynamics, maybe has a little bit of difficulties saying no or actually setting boundaries where they need to be set in the right way. So the goal with it was actually probably my own healing journey, because I think that's the best way you can connect with an audience.

I didn't have an agenda as I was writing it off and predicting how it will land. It was really a very authentic journey of my own, I guess sharing some of my very personal struggles in the hope that the audience will be able to relate and connect at the deepest level. So it's probably the most honest representation of anything I've ever done in my life.

Scott

Wow. Wow. That says a lot, doesn't it?

And because, of course, this isn't the first book that you've written. Could you share a little bit about your experience writing this book and maybe how that might have differed or been similar to some of the other books that you've written?

Tatjana

Yeah. It's actually the polar opposite. And what I learned too late is be very wise with how you pick your title.

When I wrote I See You, which is a novel about hope and unconditional love, I actually got to see myself at the end of it. So when I wrote a book about boundaries, guess what? I had many, many, many opportunities coming my way to actually trial it and test it.

But this book really asked me to grow up, to take accountability in my life, to stop making excuses and maybe blaming life's circumstances for where my life was heading and address things I should have probably addressed a long time ago in the parts that matter the most and that are the hardest conversations to have with your family members and the people who are most important in your life. So it's taken me on a journey that's one of a kind, the journey before the journey as I started writing it and then the journey after the journey as I started addressing it with my family and sharing some of the chapters to get the book to the stage that it is today. So couldn't have been more different, I guess, from a writing process itself.

But it's definitely pulled me on my shoestrings.

Scott

Yeah. Do you find writing an easy thing to do?

Tatjana

I love writing. I think writing is, it can be a little bit of both, right, because it depends on your state of mind. When you get to insert yourself into your characters, it's the most fun thing to do when you're working against a deadline and you know you've got something that's so big to accomplish.

I actually found that's probably the time I'm most in flow and when I would take myself out for a walk afterwards, I would just be so proud. So even though I'd feel like pushed in so many different directions, but it's also hard in the sense of you're fighting your own demons and insecurities. I think once you're writing it, if you really dig deep as a writer, everything comes out up, your criticisms, your judgments, the fear of being seen, actually putting that in front of an audience.

It's a rollercoaster of emotions. But that's also the beauty of it, because you actually get to experience all these emotions. And I think every good book is a book that makes you feel one way or another or that changes your perspective.

So I wouldn't change it for the world.

Scott

Oh, very good. And of course, writing a memoir is different from a lot of the types of books that many of our authors write, a business book or a how-to book, in that you're sharing a very personal part of yourself in writing about your own story. And that can be very helpful for other people.

And it can be cathartic for you as the author, but it can also be a little bit scary or triggering. Can you talk a little bit about the balance between those?

Tatjana

Yeah, absolutely. All of the above. It really takes you on a journey.

And I think it takes you on a journey when you start writing it. So because it wasn't my first book, the first book when I started writing that I actually never intended on finishing it. So I could just write it as it came.

Whilst the second book, I think I was already stepping into this might be more than just a little hobby mentality. And when I found myself writing the first couple of sentences, it actually didn't sound like me. So I had to sit with myself and ask, who am I writing this for?

And what's my goal and purpose in that process? And so I deleted all of it. And I actually promised myself that this would be the most honest reflection of what I have to share.

So with that came then a very direct, I guess, summary of my life. And when you come to a point of publishing that, that's a new level of scary because that's beyond being seen. That's got all of your fears and insecurities and judgments in there because I've chosen not to hold back.

So actually putting that to print. And you've been such a big part of that process. I pulled it in the last minute before the first final edit to then go through a second line of edits because it just didn't feel right yet.

And it didn't feel the way it was meant to be published. So it was both. It was triggering.

It was challenging. It was beautiful. It was joyous.

It was, yeah, all of the above.

Scott

Well, certainly reading it, you've managed to pull your reader into the experiences with you. So it's certainly been a successful writing endeavor from that perspective. But what about the publishing process?

What did you find, I don't know, maybe interesting or surprising or even different from the experience publishing your other books?

Tatjana

Yeah. And thank you for the compliment. I love that I got to take you on the journey with me and hopefully many others.

The publishing process was epic. And just maybe for anybody who hasn't worked with me before, hopefully will one day. But I've actually trialed everything from publishing my books online myself.

So literally uploading it and sending it off with good wishes to working with two different publishers now. And I think the difference that stood out for me working with you and your team in particular was how I felt understood as an author. And that started with the process of the questionnaire.

I filled out a couple as part of my, I guess, interviewing process or initial journey finding the right publishing company. And the way you framed your questions with the reader in mind and the mission in mind, as well as, I guess, the purpose of what I wanted to accomplish, all the way to how connected I felt with the team of really fine tuning the message in the way it needed to be shared, all the way to your patience when I had to restructure it one more time. But then also on a very personal level, I felt really connected to, I guess, from a values point of view that you focus on what type of paper to include that makes it easier for the reader.

How can we make it environmentally friendly as much as possible? So I think those were the things that really stood out outside the professionalism that your team brought so naturally, even though I'm sure there's a lot of hard work behind it. But yeah, from a publishing process point of view, couldn't have wished for a better experience.

Scott

Thank you. Wonderful. Well, thank you so much for sharing that.

And, you know, it's our pleasure and our joy to have a chance to work with you on your book. In your last response, you talked a little bit about the author questionnaire, right, and how we try to get under the hood of what are you trying to achieve, right? What is the purpose of the book?

How are you thinking about the goals for your book? Obviously, there are goals for your reader, but personally and professionally, how are you thinking about your book in the context of the work that you do? And a little bit more context for this question.

I think often authors struggle to think about memoirs in the context of, you know, business goals or goals for, you know, professional goals outside of reader goals. So how are you thinking about that? Is it entirely about the reader?

Are there things that you're looking to achieve with the book as it relates to you as a professional?

Tatjana

Yeah, absolutely. I love that question. And I think that there's a very humble approach in anybody who writes, but there's also a business woman that is still inside me.

So part of the corporate world hasn't died. So there's absolutely the intention to spread the message, whether that's in my first book that is all focused on hope and actually seeing each other from the heart or this book that I'm so passionate about, of actually making families whole. I would absolutely love for that to go hand in hand with also making a living.

I'm the mother of a 14-year-old boy and there are some very real bills coming my way where I need to pay for tuition fees, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm absolutely tied to a business goal. When I started writing the book, it was also around scaling and spreading the message.

So that's a big part of the strategy. And I talk to clients a lot about actually having a strategy behind your business launch or in any type or shape, which is also a big part of my background. But for the time being, I'm tying it to a speaking career.

So I'm now attending different events, talking to conscious families, conscious healing, conscious leading, conscious dynamics. It's a big part of my business strategy. So every client who gets to spend some time with me at first gets a copy of a book, whichever feels most aligned.

It's a great way to promote yourself. I think a lot of opportunities, if you can say you're also a published author, you land opportunities significantly quicker. And I coach, that's a big part of my business.

So I'm hoping that a person who reads it wants to dive deeper, a person who listens to this wants to dive deeper. So there are absolutely very realistic business goals behind it and beyond just hoping that people will read what you spent months, years, however long you spent writing it.

Scott

Yes. You know, a lot of our listeners have considered writing a book, right? They're at a certain stage of the authorship journey.

Some may have started, but many have an idea in their head that they would like to write a book someday. But for whatever reason, whether it's time or don't feel like they have the skills, they haven't actually taken that leap yet. You've been through this gauntlet a number of times.

What advice would you give for them?

Tatjana

I wouldn't wait until you're ready. Let me start there. It's almost like when you become a parent, otherwise you never will.

You're just going to have to start, sit down and put a couple of words onto paper. There are a couple of days where you feel epically in flow and things will just come out of you. There are days where you're going to have to sit down regardless.

A deadline helps a lot. When I first worked with my first editor, I had quite a structured overview, Excel spreadsheet, benefit of a past life in a corporate world of how many words per day, per week, in order for me to reach that deadline. And then just remember why you started.

I guess it also depends a little bit on the type of book you're writing. The first fantasy I wrote, you start with the characters and get really specific and clear in their habits and bring them to life for yourself, because then you can actually have really creative conversations with yourself or somebody else of what a character would do or wouldn't do. And when it comes to, I guess, yourself or a memoir, it's getting clear with yourself of how real you're prepared to get, how far you want to take that journey, getting really clear on the message, your avatar, and I guess who you want to reach.

So if you're clear on your message and the person you're writing it for, then it's literally just a case of sitting down and putting words to paper. And even if it's just, today I'm going to write 20 words, because it's one of those mornings where you wake up and you're just not feeling it. It's like putting your sneakers on to just go for a minute walk and it turns out into an hour.

You just need to start and make the most of it. Have fun with it, because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you get to actually put all of yourself on paper or as much as you choose.

Scott

That's excellent advice. Thank you for that. Tatjana, how can people get in touch with you if they want to learn more about the work that you're doing and get in touch?

Tatjana

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for asking the question. Through my website, TatjanaGines.com, I am on social media either under my name, Tatjana Gines, or at love underscore your underscore being. And if you want to get into my head or into my brain, read one of my books. There's plenty of ways and I always look forward to hearing from people. So please get in touch and let me know your thoughts.

I'd love to hear from you.

Scott

That's perfect. Well, we'll be sure to put those links in the show notes. Tatjana, thank you again for being here and for being so generous with your time.

I've found it really valuable and really interesting, and I'm very appreciative that you shared your experience with us.

Tatjana

Same. It was a pleasure from the beginning until the end. So this was the icing on the cake.

Thank you for having me and your time equally.

Scott

As we wrap up this episode of Entrepreneur Author, remember this. Now is the time. Time to write, time to publish, and time to grow.

I'm Scott McMillan. Until next time.